In early March, I was perusing the photos of potential soul-mates when a few caught my eye. This particular profile was short, snappy, and ended with the invitation to “call me now”. So, throwing all caution to the wind, I did. Our conversation was just like his profile: short and snappy and ended with the promise of another phone call. Several calls later he invited to meet him. However, it wasn’t the usual place (i.e. Starbucks or a bar). Instead, he suggested that on a Sunday evening we meet in Sewickley to attend the Spring Equinox celebration beginning at sundown at a nature center. I have to admit he earned several points for originality and after a long, cold winter the idea of being outside was definitely appealing. I marked my calendar and it was a “date”. After a few more phone calls, I agreed to meet him early so we could get something to eat.
I parked my car on a side street in Sewickley and waited for him to arrive. I couldn’t have predicted that a 6’4” man would show up in what had to be the world’s smallest Toyota truck and that truck would be filled to overflowing with stuff – lawn chairs, bundles of twigs, coolers, weed wackers, and that’s just what I could see. In the spirit of being open to new experiences, I ignored any and all warning bells in my head. I got in the truck (WARNING TO YOUNG FEMALE READERS OF THIS BLOG: Do not attempt this!) and have to admit I had no worries as there were no less than eight laptops and a tool box on the front seat between us. What could happen, right?
He had a crazy idea that we should go to a potluck dinner at a church he used to attend. I pointed out that we had no “potluck” but off we go anyway. After several seconds at the ticket table, he changed his mind and we ended up at a pizza place. Next stop: Equinox Celebration.
As the truck began to wind its way up a hill, I was struck by two things:
1.) It was indeed a gorgeous early spring evening; and, 2.) This man was a little unorthodox.
- mostly waist length. Several folks were wearing those Navajo blankets as coats.
However, no one had a cell phone – except for my date who had three (!) How did I know this, you are wondering? Because they all had different ringtones and he kept answering them – loudly.
The celebration began with us forming a line and independently crossing over the stones into the sacred circle. (Uh-oh, what AM I doing here.) The ceremony included storytelling, a fire, shared personal experiences, Kum by Yah – it was like being at Girl Scout Camp with grown up hippies. Except for one thing – my date.
He wandered around while answering cell calls. He insisted on adding his twigs to the fire as they represented his deceased father. He interrupted and corrected the storyteller so many times that she had to ask him to sit down. He took my hand and tried to pull me into the spirit world with him so we could communicate with his father. (I firmly pulled away and stayed put.) He kept looking out over the preserve as he repeated, loudly, that a friend to whom he was donating a kidney was supposed to join us. Finally, finally, the sun had almost completely disappeared from view and the ceremony was winding down. I was about to breathe a sigh of relief when my date stood up, spread out his arms to the world, and began to howl like a coyote.
Stunned, I could only stare in silence at this spectacle. All I could think was: “Oh my god. I’m with the annoying guy. My date is the annoying guy.”
In every situation, there is an annoying guy. School, work, playground playdates, and the coffee shop¬ – we’ve all witnessed the annoying guy. And, we’ve all been thankful we could distance ourselves.
So, how did it come to pass that I found myself on a hillside in the dark with the annoying guy?
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