What?!

"Did you just say that?!" How often has that thought crossed your mind? For me, I think it may be daily. I keep a document on my desk top where I have noted these amazing statements. It's time to share.

Me:     Hello, Comcast? It's 5 pm and you haven't arrived to fix our internet connection, and my 30+ co-workers are beginning to complain.
Comcast: Oh, we were there but we left because we couldn't find a place to park.
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Co-worker, looking at my ID badge: Susan is that you?
Me:    Yes.
Co-worker: When was that picture taken?
Me:    Last year.
Co-worker: I would not have recognized you - you have gained so much weight.


(Note: 4 pounds is NOT that much!)
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Date: I don't think I can go out with you again.
Me:   Oh?
Date: With that gray hair, you look too much like my great Aunt Sarah.


(Note: I have since begun to die my hair... but not because of this ... um... date.)
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Help desk person: Are you satisfied with the outcome of this call?
Me:   No.
Help desk person: What? Why not?
Me:   You didn't solve my problem.
Help desk person: So are you satisfied with the outcome of this call?
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A few years back I worked retail for a Christmas season at Williams-Sonoma:


Me:   May I help you find a gift?
Customer: Yea, what do you have for my aunt?
Me:   And may I ask what she likes or what is your price range?
Customer: Nothing - I hate her and don't want to spend a dime.
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At a gas station one Friday morning before work:


Me:     Hey, I think you're gonna hit my car.
            HEY! You hit my car!
Girl:    I don't know how that happened.
Me:     Really? You drove too close, that's how that happened.
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In an email to request office supplies, I asked for Lysol wipes.


Me: Please send us 6 canisters of Lysol wipes.
Co-worker: I can't order those unless I have a picture to click on.
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In a different email to request office supplies, I needed writing pads. I ordered 3 dozen each of 8x11, 5x8 and steno pads. I received 3 DOZEN of DOZEN PACKS! For a whopping total of 432 EACH!

Co-worker:   Well, you know, us older folks aren't good with higher math.
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After another email for supplies, I noticed our order was incomplete.


Me:        I wanted to let you know we still haven't received our full order.
Co-worker:      You can't expect me to keep track of that.
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My son is sitting in a History class when during a lecture about the French revolution, a classmate says to him:


Girl: Wait! Is he talking about Bonaparte or Dynamite?
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I think it's the little things like this that make life funny.   Because if you can't laugh....

http://youtu.be/RP4abiHdQpc?t=13s