IJL Chronicles: Chapter 5 - Random Notes

These three experiences are from my year’s membership with It’s Just Lunch. These dates are more memorable for their insipidness than anything else, and sadly, they are representative of the kinds of guys IJL felt I “matched”.  I reiterate that I believe the only thing we had in common was that we were upright and breathing. So… here we go.

Mr. October – It was indeed October when I got the second call from IJL. Mr. October was 52, single, had just moved back to the area and was looking to meet new people. He liked dining out, movies, baseball, and live theatre. Dare I get my hopes up? Our designated meeting place was Palomino’s in the Golden Triangle and that’s where I found myself at 7 pm on a weekday night. This meeting was a little easier than my first (you may remember the man who worked 50 hour weeks?) as Mr. O loved to talk… and talk… and talk… about … Mr. O! He ordered a drink and didn’t ask me if I wanted anything. He ordered a salad and didn’t ask me if I wanted anything. Luckily, the waiter asked me if I wanted a drink and I nursed a good pinot noir while Mr. O finally answered some of my questions. Never married? No, he never found the “right one”. Kids? No, he “dodged that bullet”. Why did you move back? Well, he moved back to care for his parents – who are healthy so he simply moved in with them. His hair was out of the 70’s while his glasses were an 80’s throwback. His suit wasn’t exactly a match but at least the jacket color did match the color of the trousers. I found my attention wandering and as I sipped my wine he asked, “So when you’re not doing the Mom thing, what do you with your time? mom THING? MOM thing? I took a deep breath and said that being a mother isn’t something you do – it is something YOU ARE. Within short order the check came, and I was out the door.

The Virgin – When I re-entered the dating world after more than 25 years, I promised myself that I would be open to a great guy regardless of his size, shape or hair situation. After all, a great guy can come in just about any package. Can’t he? IJL told me that Dave was reentering the dating world after a long absence – and like me, he liked good food, and good wine, and was active in his kids’ lives. He was particularly looking for a long term relationship as the holidays were around the corner. (This was a new twist: Holiday dating). The rendezvous location was the Palm Court at the William Penn. And there he was – all 350+ pounds of him. He was wider than the side of the table where he was seated. “Okay, okay, I told myself, looks and weight shouldn’t matter. Give him the guy a chance.” Dave was right about one thing – he loved food, good or otherwise. He was attentive, talkative and very, very open. As the hour wore on, he told me about his daughter’s coming out of the closet, about his ex’s faults, his other children’s psychological struggles…. And that he considered himself a virgin because it had been over five years since… well you know. At least, he walked me to the car and held the door.

6 in 50 – Tonic Bar & Grill was hoppin’ on a Thursday when I met …er… I can’t remember his name! Again, IJL assured me we would have lots in common – baseball (What!? Since when do I like baseball?), outdoors, and sports. We were seated by a window and he orders a beer as do I. Over the course of the next 50 minutes, he drinks 6 – yes SIX – beers. I am sipping one. As he chugs #6, he puts it down and says bluntly, “So ya lookin’ fer a bedmate or what?” My hand moves away from my glass, I stand up and reply, “I’m sure I have to pick up somebody, somewhere from something.”

Is it any wonder I did not renew my IJL membership?