IJL Chronicles: Chapter 5 - Random Notes

These three experiences are from my year’s membership with It’s Just Lunch. These dates are more memorable for their insipidness than anything else, and sadly, they are representative of the kinds of guys IJL felt I “matched”.  I reiterate that I believe the only thing we had in common was that we were upright and breathing. So… here we go.

Mr. October – It was indeed October when I got the second call from IJL. Mr. October was 52, single, had just moved back to the area and was looking to meet new people. He liked dining out, movies, baseball, and live theatre. Dare I get my hopes up? Our designated meeting place was Palomino’s in the Golden Triangle and that’s where I found myself at 7 pm on a weekday night. This meeting was a little easier than my first (you may remember the man who worked 50 hour weeks?) as Mr. O loved to talk… and talk… and talk… about … Mr. O! He ordered a drink and didn’t ask me if I wanted anything. He ordered a salad and didn’t ask me if I wanted anything. Luckily, the waiter asked me if I wanted a drink and I nursed a good pinot noir while Mr. O finally answered some of my questions. Never married? No, he never found the “right one”. Kids? No, he “dodged that bullet”. Why did you move back? Well, he moved back to care for his parents – who are healthy so he simply moved in with them. His hair was out of the 70’s while his glasses were an 80’s throwback. His suit wasn’t exactly a match but at least the jacket color did match the color of the trousers. I found my attention wandering and as I sipped my wine he asked, “So when you’re not doing the Mom thing, what do you with your time? mom THING? MOM thing? I took a deep breath and said that being a mother isn’t something you do – it is something YOU ARE. Within short order the check came, and I was out the door.

The Virgin – When I re-entered the dating world after more than 25 years, I promised myself that I would be open to a great guy regardless of his size, shape or hair situation. After all, a great guy can come in just about any package. Can’t he? IJL told me that Dave was reentering the dating world after a long absence – and like me, he liked good food, and good wine, and was active in his kids’ lives. He was particularly looking for a long term relationship as the holidays were around the corner. (This was a new twist: Holiday dating). The rendezvous location was the Palm Court at the William Penn. And there he was – all 350+ pounds of him. He was wider than the side of the table where he was seated. “Okay, okay, I told myself, looks and weight shouldn’t matter. Give him the guy a chance.” Dave was right about one thing – he loved food, good or otherwise. He was attentive, talkative and very, very open. As the hour wore on, he told me about his daughter’s coming out of the closet, about his ex’s faults, his other children’s psychological struggles…. And that he considered himself a virgin because it had been over five years since… well you know. At least, he walked me to the car and held the door.

6 in 50 – Tonic Bar & Grill was hoppin’ on a Thursday when I met …er… I can’t remember his name! Again, IJL assured me we would have lots in common – baseball (What!? Since when do I like baseball?), outdoors, and sports. We were seated by a window and he orders a beer as do I. Over the course of the next 50 minutes, he drinks 6 – yes SIX – beers. I am sipping one. As he chugs #6, he puts it down and says bluntly, “So ya lookin’ fer a bedmate or what?” My hand moves away from my glass, I stand up and reply, “I’m sure I have to pick up somebody, somewhere from something.”

Is it any wonder I did not renew my IJL membership?

You've Got Mail.. er Books!

“When you read a book as a child, it becomes a part of your identity in a way that no other reading in your whole life does.” - Kathleen Kelly 

I believe that. I do.

While I cannot remember the first book I read, I remember my first library. When we moved from our farmhouse in Newfield to our “suburban” home in Oaklyn, I was introduced to not one, but two libraries: the Mary A. Finney Elementary School library and the Oaklyn Memorial Library.

At the school library, books were displayed on painted wooden shelves (mint green I might add). And those books had plastic covers and yellow cards in pockets for checkout purposes. The librarian would handpick which books would have the honor of being displayed. Naturally, those were the ones we read first.

By the time I was in sixth grade (Mr. Smith’s homeroom), I loved to read. I can’t attribute it to anything special – don’t remember ever seeing my parents read books, don’t remember bed time stories. I simply loved to read. It was an escape. On Tuesday nights (the only night the library was open late) my friend Debbie and I would walk to the library on warm summer evenings. We’d pour over the books and check out the limit which was something like six. By the middle of the week, we’d trade each other and the race was on to see who read the most books that summer. We read Nancy Drew which would explain my super sleuthing skills. We read the Bobbsey Twins and wished we had a twin brother. We read the Hardy Boys and decided we liked Nancy better. Heidi was a favorite as was the Brothers Grimm. Honestly, those fairy tales are frightening!

At home, I hid books and magazines around the house: One under the sofa cushions, one in the middle drawer of the hutch, one in the linen closet. You get the idea. I would read instead of doing chores and when I heard my mother coming, I’d hide the book and get back to dusting or sweeping. I think that’s when I fell in love with the Reader’s Digest. I could read those articles so fast – before she caught me.

In high school, I discovered Danielle Steel and Mary Higgins Clark. For a time, I devoured biographies like Amelia Earhart. When I got married, bride magazines and when I was pregnant, baby books. Then when I had children of my own, I discovered children’s books. A day didn’t go by when I didn’t read to them – I took Derek to story hour when he was three months old! I loved those books almost as much as my kids. Eric Carle, Tony DiPaolo, Junie B. Jones, and the Critter books to name a few.

Years have passed and college brought a different kind of reading – which is where I learned to read books I didn’t like. A book club has brought me more joy in reading for the past 13 years than I can imagine. A book club forces you to read books you might not have otherwise ever picked up. I have cried real tears over The Kite Runner and The Help. An unexpected bonus from all this reading is that I can read fairly quickly – ask my kids. Now, I work downtown and I've become one of those “T” readers. I find the selections of books in the early morning so fascinating: bodice ripping romance novels, scary sci-fi, popular best sellers, the newspaper, and of course the mandatory work related reading.

If it is true that a book becomes part of your identity as they say in “You’ve Got Mail”, who does that make me?